Instead…

I am guilty. 

Guilty of a certain snobbery defined by my past. Because, I have been hardworking, successful, always meeting dealadines, never letting the team down. I thought it was who I am. Nay – I knew.

Then I took a turn – decided to leave the comfort of the 9-5, to go it on my own. To finally use those abilities that  I have been using for decades for others for my own vision, my own growth and opportunity. To be the master of my command. 
And what have I found five months later?

That it might not have been me. That apparently structure and boundaries, fear and responsibility to others was a major source of my daily motivation. Apparently when left to my own devices I’m not that go getter. I am not that person who is so completely self motivated that the world of work and daily production is not forced upon me but instead swells up from me. 
Sat in bed once again halfway through the morning I find that instead – I am not who I thought I was. 

I am Exposed.